Old Farts Quiz

You could be an old fart. Can you answer all these?

1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind? ____________

2. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The __________________ Show.

3. "Get your kicks, ___________________."

4. "The story you are about to see if true. The names have been changed ________."

5. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________."

6. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the "_____________."

7. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best _______________."

8. Satchmo was America's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

9. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, "Good Night, and "_______________".

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their _______.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music died." This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

Bigfoot Sighting

NASA

(click on picture to enlarge)

BIGFOOT seen on MARS!

Photo was taken by NASA rover Spirit having been sent to mars to explore the Gusev crater for signs of water. If there was once water on the planet, scientists theorize mars might have supported life forms. Wonder why Elvis never thought of this!

Update on UFO's in Stephenville

It seems the Air Force has offered an explanation (finally) for the UFO sightings up in Stephenville.

Original Old Farts Post

Now the air force is claiming they were conducting flight training in the area that night. Ah well, the wheels do turn - eventually. At least the local economy got a boost with all the tourists flooding in even if short lived.

Link to the new explanation

The Redhead

This redhead goes in to see her doctor complaining of experiencing pain all over her body. The doctor says this is nonsense as he's never seen these symptoms, but agrees to examine her. So he tells her to show him where it hurts and she then touches her chin. "Ouch" she says.
Then touches her shoulder and "ouch"
Then touches her breast and "ouch"
Then touches her hip and "ouch"
Then touches her knee and "ouch"
At this point the doctor says "OK that's enough, I see what the problem is" Then he adds "By the way you're not really a redhead are you?"
She replies "Well no I'm actually a blond, but how could you possibly know that?"
The doctor tells her "Well it's pretty obvious, your finger is broken."

The Obituary

An old fart has passed away, but not before he and his wife had some time to reflect on his life. He was extremely proud of all that he had accomplished over the years and took comfort in knowing that his wife would be very well taken of after he is gone. After all he had retired from two different careers plus they had done well with their investments.
So after his passing she contacted the local newspaper to have an obituary printed. The clerk told her that the standard cost would be 50 cents per word. There was a long pause and he could hear a scratching sound of pencil on paper in the background. Then she comes back on the line and says "OK this is what I want it to say:
John Smith has died."
The clerk responds "Well...... OK, that will be four dollars."
"Four dollars!" she shouts "I thought you said 50 cents per word."
The clerk "Well yes that's correct, but there's a 4 dollar minimum charge."
He hears more scratching in the background and then she says "OK then print this:
John Smith has died. Deer Rifle for sale."

Eye Chart

This has been making the round for some time, but is still funny.


The link:

Blast from the Past

UFO Sightings in Stephenville, Texas ?

What the hey? Pretty stable folks living up in Stephenville. At least I've always thought so as I've been there many times . Well apparently something happened on January 8. Could it have something to do with all the methane gas produced from the dairy farms?

Anyway here's the link to the news story:

Stephenville UFO

You might be an Old Fart

if you suck in your gut and your pants fall down

if you have more hair in your ears than on your head

if you give up all your bad habits, but don't feel any better

if you've been recently diagnosed with AAADD (age activated attention deficit disorder)

if you hear the coffee pot, but then realize it was you making that noise

if your doctor stops telling you that you're a hypochondriac

if you can trust your friends with your secrets because you know they won't remember them

if your doctor gives you the punch card giving you a free visit for every nine paid ones


Got any more? Leave them in comments, thx.

The card players

Three ladies are sitting around one evening playing cards when one comments "You know I'm afraid I might be losing my memory. I'm having a terrible time with people's names".

Another adds "Yes me too! And the other day I got lost when I was driving to church!"

"Well thank goodness I'm not" replies the third. "My memory is a clear as a bell, knock on wood" at which point she raps several times on the table. Then immediately with a startled look says "I wonder who could be at the door?"

Join the Club

You know you're an Old Fart when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart

Fish Story

For me, at least these days, fishing is a state of mind. If out with friends it's all about the camaraderie with the actual fishing being second nature and just the reason to get together. If out by myself I get lost in my thoughts. Sure I'll have a line out, but usually won't be paying much attention to it.
For kids tho, fishing is fishing, and they usually give their full attention to it. As it was for this little girl fishing off her grandparents dock over the holidays. Using her new Barbie rod and reel and at first getting the cast down to her satisfaction, then settling down to business, managed to hook a monster of a fish. With dad's help and a 20 minute (plus) fight they finally landed it. It's easily as big as she is! After taking a few pics, they released it again.
So now I'm thinking maybe the best way to go fishing is to be sure a couple of kids go along.

Vegetable Orchestra

Next time you hear "Mom I don't have anything to do" tell 'em to go play with their vegetables! Although not a new video it's still a great one.

Where Are We

Group of folks are headed to Rockport to spend the winter and are passing through the town of Refugio when they get into a "discussion" about the correct pronunciation. So they pull into a burger joint for lunch. After placing their order one of them asks the waitress where they are. She leans in close and in a loud voice says "Brrrrrrrrr Grrrrrrrrr Kiiinnnng".

Well, this is as Clear as Mud - On making Change

Old Farts

Three old farts, having just arrived on the island, are taking a stroll on the beach.
The first one comments "windy, eh?
Fellow next to him says "believe it's Thursday.
Next guy pipes up "damn straight I'm thirsty, let's go find us a beer!

Miss Connie

The Central Texas Wing of the Commemorative Air Force located in San Marcos, Texas is home to the Miss Connie which is probably the only P39 currently being flown in air shows anywhere.

Link to Centex Wing
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2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR

LET'S MAKE 2008 A GREAT ONE!