if you suck in your gut and your pants fall down
if you have more hair in your ears than on your head
if you give up all your bad habits, but don't feel any better
if you've been recently diagnosed with AAADD (age activated attention deficit disorder)
if you hear the coffee pot, but then realize it was you making that noise
if your doctor stops telling you that you're a hypochondriac
if you can trust your friends with your secrets because you know they won't remember them
if your doctor gives you the punch card giving you a free visit for every nine paid ones
Got any more? Leave them in comments, thx.
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